Thursday, July 31, 2008
John McCain's presidential campaign intends to release an ad in the coming 24 hours establishing a connection between Barack Obama and tomorrow's total eclipse of the sun. "I told you he was bad," averred a McCain aid on condition of anonymity. "The bastard can steal the light of our sun -- what evil scheme he'll use it for is anybody's guess. But one thing's for sure: he wants us in the dark."