David Brooks is stupid

David Brooks' column in the New York Times constitutes a rear-guard action against his worst nightmare. Ride that horsey, David! Ride!

Why must the Times cut a paycheck to someone so unutterably incompetent? Is whatever Maureen Dowd has succumbed to proved contagious? Brooks' "analysis" is contemptibly facile and without any conceivable merit. He's such an idiot he thinks it's about STYLE! Style is precisely the problem. Or rather concerns about style are the problem. Style is so 90's Bubba-Joe. We be doin' substance now.

Want to talk about elitism? Try this shit: "And today we Democrats meet in Denver, a suburb of Boulder, a city whose motto is, “A Taxi? You Must be Dreaming.”" Uh, Dave? Some of us live out here where elitist taxis don't come around. You some kinda elitist easterner or somethin'? We DRIVE where we gotta go 'round these parts.

And for all his kickass New York City erudition, Brooks can't tell the difference between a column and a pilaster. You wanna try some real elitism someday, Davey boy? I'll be there with my game on. We'll do the elitism throwdown. If I win, I get to ride you like a taxi all over Cow Hill, Texas. You win, you pick.

And here's a fine culmination of a lousy column:

No, this country cannot afford to elect John Bushmccain. Under Republican rule, locusts have stripped the land, adults wear crocs in public and M&M’s have lost their flavor. We must instead ride to the uplands of hope!

For as Barack Obama suggested Thursday night, wherever there is a president who needs to tap our natural-gas reserves, I’ll be there. Wherever there is a need for a capital-gains readjustment for targeted small businesses, I’ll be there. Wherever there is a president committed to direct diplomacy with nuclear proliferators, I’ll be there, too! God bless the Democrats, and God Bless America!

This is not about candy, dumbass. We're not pretending. It is about very real events that have transpired during your boy's administration. You know. Stupid war. Economic crisis. Botched New Orleans recovery. That sort of thing. Shit that actually MATTERS to people.

And, speaking as one with a stock portfolio, I must say that your capital gains bullshit displays not a single clue about tax policy, and perilous little about what most investors need and want to see implemented.